Carrick cannot possibly hope to compete with Man City and their £34m non-debutant

A £34m Manchester City signing who is yet to feature was ‘waiting in the wings ready to come on and make a difference’. What is Michael Carrick meant to do?

Bring on his £73m striker earlier? Win at home while playing against 10 men for an hour? Pfft.

Carrick on my wayward son The Manchester derby fall-out continues on Tuesday, with Laurie Whitwell of The Athletic weirdly writing about all the football involved rather than asking who the VAR’s second cousin’s neighbour’s dog supports.

But this is quite the opening paragraph:

One might humbly suggest that the sight of Michael Carrick doing anything at all as the manager of Manchester United illustrates the different landscapes at Manchester United and Manchester City. At least the latter appointed someone who won the Championship (and some other pots) instead of one who couldn’t even reach the play-offs.

If only Carrick had a £73m striker who could have been brought on earlier – or even started. Or a few more substitutes to call upon who were also not particularly cheap.

The theme of Manchester United’s owners not being ambitious enough to give the manager a competitive squad at this level carries through to the Manchester Evening News and this from Tyrone Marshall:

Pesky fact: Manchester United’s bench cost more (£284.6m) than Manchester City’s (£266.8m). And they made exactly the same number of substitutions.

Manchester City’s starting XI did cost a fair bit more. It was also a player down after 23 minutes. But it’s funny how they had a £34m winger ‘waiting in the wings ready to come on and make a difference’ when he a) didn’t come on and make a difference, and b) hasn’t even made his debut yet.

Poor Carrick’s options just ‘weren’t as grand’. That was his downfall, not taking ages to bring an actual striker on against 10 men, or unbalancing his team by bringing off a midfielder when they had the majority of possession.

Mason Mount cost £60m. Andrey Santos cost £48m. Joshua Zirkzee cost £36.5m. And they have all actually played for Manchester United.

Mediawatch gets the point about how differently both clubs approached the transfer window – although Manchester City’s net spend in the summer was only £60m or so more, and United’s is well over £100m higher over the past five years – but stating that Carrick’s ‘options weren’t as grand’ and backing that argument up by using a player who hasn’t even featured for Manchester City yet, who was cheaper than five unused United substitutes, feels a tad rich.

Fine Art Max Dowman hasn’t played for Arsenal this season. He is also 16 so that seems broadly fine; the youngest player to feature at all in the Premier League so far is Rio Ngumoha, who turned 18 in August.

To put it into context, Arsenal quite sensibly decided not to give Dowman his first minutes of the season in a bruising game at Sunderland at the weekend and instead called him to the U21s, and he was still the youngest player to feature in that match.

It is completely logical that he hasn’t played for the seniors yet. But…

‘Mikel Arteta sends warning to Max Dowman, 16, after wonderkid was left out of Arsenal squad and dropped down to U21s’ – The Sun website.

‘Mikel Arteta sends warning to Max Dowman after reality check for Arsenal wonderkid’ – Daily Mirror website.

‘Mikel Arteta sends clear warning to Arsenal star that ‘minutes must be earned” – The Metro.

That ‘warning’ in full:

So Arteta would have named Dowman on the bench if squads were bigger, and then he indulged in some typical manager speak.

Dowman might be young but he’s probably bright enough to know that he won’t play for the Premier League champions and Champions League runners-up without ‘earning’ it. It doesn’t feel like a reality that really needed checking.

Lamp shade Coventry being wonderfully terrible seems like bad news only really for Coventry. Yet Ian Ladyman is an intellect and can see the wider picture in the Daily Mail:

The GERMAN Thomas Tuchel was appointed to the delight of the merchants of woke less than two years ago. The best sustained period in England’s history was recently overseen by a manager whose only previous senior role ended in Premier League relegation with Middlesbrough not far off a decade prior.

It probably won’t be too difficult for the FA to explain Lampard’s inevitable coronation when it comes.

Taking the Schmeichel Also quite enjoyed Ladyman’s attempt at upping his reader engagement numbers with this teaser:

That’s a tough one. Not only a ‘former star of both Manchester clubs,’ but one who ‘remains so in love with United’ and is quite open about it. Is it Carlos Tevez? Or Andrei Kanchelskis? Oh, Terry Cooke?!

Ask a simple question “What team have you seen win the Premier League without a top class goalkeeper?” – Paul Scholes, The Good, The Bad and The Football podcast.

Nep it in the bud ‘Noel Gallagher reveals his ‘heart is full of pride’ after nepo baby son Sonny, 15, aimed X-rated gesture at Man United fans during Manchester City’s derby win’ – MailOnline, entirely misunderstanding what a ‘nepo baby’ is.

Hint: it isn’t literally just a famous person’s offspring.